a part of my dream...

Too late to ask

Now I see
I'm too late
Too late to ask
Someday
I will ask it again
Someday..
Someday it will happen

Thinking about our good times
Slept with tears in my eyes
Wondering why

Would this happen
Slept with tears in my eyes
Thinking about our good times
and you.

Performing my role accomplishing my task
I strive for things that are useless and vain
but deep inside I'm filled with pain

he gives me self-confidence and I wear it with pride
he protects me with shelter, a safe place to hide

wherever I go, he's always so near protecting me at all costs, he has no fear

Trying to feel what it was, like feelings you can't even remember, holding someone close, loving her tender

A long time ago, I let him in, and he became part of me like a second layer of skin.

And yet so painful but also superior to me
I'm much more than the man I thought that I ever could be
she knows now weakness and offers no surrender, holds her values high to any offender
But what is the price for the armour I wear...

The vibe the terror and the pain is driving my so bad damn insane, I scream scream scream, nobody hears me...
Love me...


You and me
you were there
I was here
we were friends

you're still there
and I'm still here
but I don't know what we are
Aan de liefde van mijn leven
Maybe I'm weak, maybe I'm strong.
But what's the meaning when you ain't coming home?
So I go inside and close this door, and as so many times before.
I'm so confused and don't know what to do.
I've tried to hold on to what we've had and go on.
All the time I've to deny, this pain I feel inside.
If only I could, I would.
Beg you to stay, down on my knees, bleeding screaming
' Please, don't go away...'
I still love you
When I look back on our days,
I look and see your face.
Your tender touch I won't forget.

I can't Leave It all behind,
memories are crossing my mind,
you where my sunshine thought the rain.
You where my smile thought my pain.
With you bad things feel tight,
that's one of a billion reasons why
I want you by my side.

Heartbroken
I wish I was strong like I used to be
Before hurt and pain weakened me
Then this wouldn't hurt so much
All I need is your gentle touch...
You know who you are and what I mean
You know that you are... a part of my dream...

fOr My cOLd DarK bLAcKHeaRT

For I am a lonely child that cries inside,
Try to run but theres nowhere to hide,
I am found I have a choice to make,
With god my father of that demon snake.
Do I deserve all that god has to offer me?
Or do I let the evil depths of life take me under to the cold black sea?
I guess it's who will work for me harder
And let me know that no harm shall ever come to me
And that little girl who cries inside
With nowhere to hide.

SIGN

This feeling, that is deep inside me,
this feeling that leaves me feeling so sad,
this feeling that makes me feel the world is such a dread,
this feeling that makes me want to sit down and cry,
this feeling that makes me crazy,
that makes me feel like everything is wrong,
that everything is just not right,
I feel so mad, at myself, at him, at everyone,
at all those people who seem to have a perfect life,
all those people, that seem to have what I don't have,
all those people that make my life seem so.......

I can't even say it,
I don't know how to describe this feeling that is in my chest,
Like a big empty space that I can't fill,
a big empty space that hurts, that makes me sad,
makes me want to give up and die.
I need something....hope...that everything will be ok,
I need some sign that tells me that time will get better again,
that I will be happy again, I just need a little sign,
just one, that is all.
I just want to know, that it will be ok,
that my tears will stop and my laughter will follow,
just one sign....God if you are listening please hear me out,
all I ask is for a sign, just one,
please please just one sign...

hWhaha.. Lagi KuKer Aja....

What should I do, when I'm in love with my childhood friend?

So, I knew him when I was younger. My earliest memory of my childhood was with him and his family. My happiest moment in life was with him/them. I met him because I was new student when we were in Elementary School. And when we were in Secondary School, we still together. But, when we passed Secondary School, we decided to apart. He loves freedom, but I prefer to live in dorm. That's why we were separated. We never met since that time.

 

Then, I met him week ago. He was freshman in high school. He was nice to me, and gave me a hand if I need help. I don't know why I feel like that. I just feel such with other boy. Frankly speaking, I didn't love him. Till we lose contact and I realize that I feel missing him. And that's why I know that he does. I know that actually our years very valuable for him.

What I felt, I feel like I don't know him. I love him, if it stands for anything. I think about him every single day, I want to know him. I should know him already, I feel like I know him spiritually. Little things he does, I notice. When a kind gesture happens, and no one notices... I notice. I know that doesn't make a person.

I'm so sorry my friends that I didn't realize that.

DiSSApoINteD

Yesterday I join speech contest even though I just as third winner. Frankly speaking I'm so disappointed.

But, it's ok. There must be something behind of it. My friend won Favorite Student. I'm proud of her.