aJari QuWw..................

Ajari aku ‘tuk bisa
Menjadi yang engkau cinta
Agar ku bisa memiliki rasa
Yang luar biasa untukku dan untukmu

Ku harap engkau mengerti
Akan semua yang ku pinta
Karena kau cahaya hidupku, malamku
‘tuk terangi jalan ku yang berliku

Hanya engkau yang bisa
Hanya engkau yang tahu
Hanya engkau yang mengerti, semua inginku

ajari aku 'tuk bisa mencintaimu
ajari aku 'tuk bisa mengerti kamu

Mungkinkah semua akan terjadi pada diriku
Hanya engkau yang tahu
Ajari aku ‘tuk bisa mencintaimu

uNbeLievAbLe..........

it's about a secret between us
nobody knew it
only for us
and we kept it for ourselves...

about every beautiful days we enjoyed
about him
about me
about us

everything we talked about
everything we shared together
he was my best friend ever
and i was his bes friend ever

till he said it to me
i can't believe
i can't breath
i can't say anything

i was speechless...

he said he love me....

All the years’ I've known him
And all the times we’ve shared
I can’t believe that he love me
Or that he has ever cared


HOW COULD.....


i just want him to know that he's still my best friend.......
coz i believe that friendship is something to hold on
which has no ending....

W.H.Y

Why is it so hard 4 you to understand,
I don't want to be with you anymore,
You gave me only your hand,
You didn't give yourself and I demand war,

You betrayed me and I am falling apart,
You said you loved me but you hated me,
You weren't longer my guard,
Being my enemy is what you wanted to be,

While I was crying the pain hurt every time again like hell,
It didn't stop, it was your way of loving someone,
How come you don't know, tears are what you sell,
Don't you understand the damage you have done,

I still love you, I don't know why,
First I was afraid to stand up and tell you how I felt,
Now I am afraid, I don't know anymore if I'm still standing high,
I shiver when I think about how you yelled,

But I still long for your touch,
And as I'm imagining,
I still love you very much,
From your love I could sing,

I think it's wrong,
Desiring a man that once wounded my body and soul,
But I've been with you 4 so long,
I don't want to speak, everyday you desperate call,

I don't understand why, you first desert me,
And then you only want to be with me, it's the,
Question why, I am so depressive and still love you,
It doesn't make sense, Oh why, why, why, why do I still want you?

Why, why, why, why, why, I keep thinking,
I realize, in your love I'm sinking.
Written by Charley

At night, I lay cozy in my warm bed,
With my hands behind my head.
I have a wish I hope comes true, and I think it might.
To have you beside me in my bed at night.
Going to sleep I try.
I can't and know why.
Relax and imagine holding you until you are next to me, it does seem.
I fall asleep knowing I'll be with you in tonight's dream.

Never trust
Never trust a smiling face
Because it is not what you think it is

The face can smile
But the soul can cry

So never trust a smiling face
Because it is not what you think
you see.


Forever written in my mind
So many times..
I see you smile.
I see you cry.

That sweet smile.
I can not forget that smile.

Hear you laugh..
See you smile..
Hear you cry..

The noises and that smile..
For ever written in my mind, heart and soul..

I can not forget you.
I can not stop thinking of you.
Never.

i have 58 students in my generation in Smaeli. And we call ourselves “The Third Generation of Smaeli” or d’TeeNs. I love them all, eventhough we have various culture, mothertongue, charateristic, and way of thinking. We always be the best generation in our school. We joy happy and sad moments together. We always be one. Even the hardest wave couldn’t break up our brethren.
But now, we just have 53 students in our generation. 2 students moved out and 3 students dropped out. And off course it makes us sad. Till someday we had a problem. I don’t know what’s goin’ on and why is it happened. And it makes us finally break off.
Actually, i don’t like if it happen. Coz actually i really hope that someday we’ll joy our years together again. Not in ego anymore. Not in angre anymore. It’s not bout who’s wrong or right but it’s just bout us and our generation. I just want us to forget it and try to continue our best brethren like before. I know and i realize that they’re very valuable for me.
I still remember our slogan for d’TeeNz. “Satu Rasa Sama Rasa, Sama Sama Manrasa-rasa”. Hwehehe..... that’s i want to shown off to the other. But, i couldn’t find it right now. I want to show to the whole school and world that we have the best brethren ever in this world. That there’s nothing could separate us.

a part of my dream...

Too late to ask

Now I see
I'm too late
Too late to ask
Someday
I will ask it again
Someday..
Someday it will happen

Thinking about our good times
Slept with tears in my eyes
Wondering why

Would this happen
Slept with tears in my eyes
Thinking about our good times
and you.

Performing my role accomplishing my task
I strive for things that are useless and vain
but deep inside I'm filled with pain

he gives me self-confidence and I wear it with pride
he protects me with shelter, a safe place to hide

wherever I go, he's always so near protecting me at all costs, he has no fear

Trying to feel what it was, like feelings you can't even remember, holding someone close, loving her tender

A long time ago, I let him in, and he became part of me like a second layer of skin.

And yet so painful but also superior to me
I'm much more than the man I thought that I ever could be
she knows now weakness and offers no surrender, holds her values high to any offender
But what is the price for the armour I wear...

The vibe the terror and the pain is driving my so bad damn insane, I scream scream scream, nobody hears me...
Love me...


You and me
you were there
I was here
we were friends

you're still there
and I'm still here
but I don't know what we are
Aan de liefde van mijn leven
Maybe I'm weak, maybe I'm strong.
But what's the meaning when you ain't coming home?
So I go inside and close this door, and as so many times before.
I'm so confused and don't know what to do.
I've tried to hold on to what we've had and go on.
All the time I've to deny, this pain I feel inside.
If only I could, I would.
Beg you to stay, down on my knees, bleeding screaming
' Please, don't go away...'
I still love you
When I look back on our days,
I look and see your face.
Your tender touch I won't forget.

I can't Leave It all behind,
memories are crossing my mind,
you where my sunshine thought the rain.
You where my smile thought my pain.
With you bad things feel tight,
that's one of a billion reasons why
I want you by my side.

Heartbroken
I wish I was strong like I used to be
Before hurt and pain weakened me
Then this wouldn't hurt so much
All I need is your gentle touch...
You know who you are and what I mean
You know that you are... a part of my dream...

fOr My cOLd DarK bLAcKHeaRT

For I am a lonely child that cries inside,
Try to run but theres nowhere to hide,
I am found I have a choice to make,
With god my father of that demon snake.
Do I deserve all that god has to offer me?
Or do I let the evil depths of life take me under to the cold black sea?
I guess it's who will work for me harder
And let me know that no harm shall ever come to me
And that little girl who cries inside
With nowhere to hide.

SIGN

This feeling, that is deep inside me,
this feeling that leaves me feeling so sad,
this feeling that makes me feel the world is such a dread,
this feeling that makes me want to sit down and cry,
this feeling that makes me crazy,
that makes me feel like everything is wrong,
that everything is just not right,
I feel so mad, at myself, at him, at everyone,
at all those people who seem to have a perfect life,
all those people, that seem to have what I don't have,
all those people that make my life seem so.......

I can't even say it,
I don't know how to describe this feeling that is in my chest,
Like a big empty space that I can't fill,
a big empty space that hurts, that makes me sad,
makes me want to give up and die.
I need something....hope...that everything will be ok,
I need some sign that tells me that time will get better again,
that I will be happy again, I just need a little sign,
just one, that is all.
I just want to know, that it will be ok,
that my tears will stop and my laughter will follow,
just one sign....God if you are listening please hear me out,
all I ask is for a sign, just one,
please please just one sign...

hWhaha.. Lagi KuKer Aja....

What should I do, when I'm in love with my childhood friend?

So, I knew him when I was younger. My earliest memory of my childhood was with him and his family. My happiest moment in life was with him/them. I met him because I was new student when we were in Elementary School. And when we were in Secondary School, we still together. But, when we passed Secondary School, we decided to apart. He loves freedom, but I prefer to live in dorm. That's why we were separated. We never met since that time.

 

Then, I met him week ago. He was freshman in high school. He was nice to me, and gave me a hand if I need help. I don't know why I feel like that. I just feel such with other boy. Frankly speaking, I didn't love him. Till we lose contact and I realize that I feel missing him. And that's why I know that he does. I know that actually our years very valuable for him.

What I felt, I feel like I don't know him. I love him, if it stands for anything. I think about him every single day, I want to know him. I should know him already, I feel like I know him spiritually. Little things he does, I notice. When a kind gesture happens, and no one notices... I notice. I know that doesn't make a person.

I'm so sorry my friends that I didn't realize that.

DiSSApoINteD

Yesterday I join speech contest even though I just as third winner. Frankly speaking I'm so disappointed.

But, it's ok. There must be something behind of it. My friend won Favorite Student. I'm proud of her.

Betrayer and the Lying, scum sucking, beast.

This is about my bastard of a cockroach backstabbing EX-boyfriend. Enjoy!

You said our love was different.
That it would never fall apart,
That from the one moment you saw me,
You always would give me your full heart,
You were pushy,
You were disgusting,
In the end you thought you could be,
The betrayer,
The non-love-believer,
Basically the me.
Now I'll never again have the chance to go back,
to convince myself of the lies,
But I am the despiser,
And its now you I despise..
If you died tomorrow I'd laugh in your dead face,
And scream forever to the whole human race,
That never betray a betrayer,
It back fires in the end,
Especially if you go from loving the betrayer,
To loving best friend.

i'M tHe siLence aNd dArknEss oF thE niGhT

The night is thick with darkness
I stand and hear the silence
No one can see the pain I am in
Yet, the morning will still come in
The night is thick with silence
I stand in nothing but darkness
No one can see the emotional pain I am in
Yet, the morning will still come in
As I stand with pain throughout my body
I want to ask why me? Yet I know I do have the answer
So I stand and just let it be
I stand with tears on my face
For pain has once again come to me
I am the darkness of the night
For no one seems to care about me
The night is often neglected
For no one is awake to see it’s beauty
As I stand in pain from head to toe
No one cares about me
The night is like a mystery
With things yet to discover
Yet no one cares to take that adventure
To see what the night has to hold
They only want to see the light of the day
For that is their comfort zone
So I stand in silence with the night
And wonder, Can anyone see my heavy load?
The darkness of night will soon be over
If only for a little while
Yet this beast that lies within me
Is there through darkness and light
Can no one see the pain I am in?
Do they even dare to come near?
Can no one understand this beast within me?
Do they even know who I am?
The emotional pain is harder
It will last for all eternity
I carry the baggage of that pain
Do they know they make it harder?
I wonder if they really love me
I wonder do they really care
They sure don’t seem to show it
They don’t seem to know I am there
I carry this beast with me always
I carry it with a heavy heart
I sit in silence and listen
I am the silence and darkness of the night

eLiMinaTion???

Now, I’m thinking in sorrow… is there one of my friends have to be dropped out from our school???

I love this school. But, I hate it for this rule. How could you just let your friends go in a second?? Within you’ve been friends in 2 years… I couldn’t imagine…

Today at 14 o’clock, my school held a conference between the teachers and stake holders. It’s about “which one of us has to be eliminated”. That’s very terrible. And the result will be noticed this evening. And I don’t want that time come. Frankly speaking, I really disagree with “elimination rule” in my school.

I think, Elimination rule in every school has to be vanished. That’s not their false if they are stupid or have bad act in school. That’s school’s duty to bring them and guide them to the right way. Not to eliminate them. Because, it’s unrealized that the school has throw the student out and ignore their duty to guide the students. It’s undeniable that the students going to school to get guidance. The students won’t go to school if they don’t need guidance, if they’ve been clever.

In fact, with eliminate the student; the school has made one of country young generation become useless. It means one of country future has been lost. And of course it will increase number of jobless. Owhh…. Pure we are..

CapeK Gw

i'm so tired.. tugas numpuk... mana remedial ikutan numpuk..
tyuz kimia mesti ngulang dari semester lalu..
mesti buat presentasi lagi..
tyuz mulai dari hidrokarbon,minyak bumi,larutan elektrolit dan non elektrolit, sama REDOKS juga...
waaaahh.... mana ngumpulin tugas harus besok....
capee dech...
it's make me stressed...
capek dech jadi siswi....
mudah2an cepet lulusnya....
bisa gag yach taon depan lulus dengan baek....???
takut juga kalo gag lulus...
ahh.... I don't care..... My duty is study now!!!!!
jia you!!!! Ganbatte ne!!!!!
dO my BesT.....

i'm 17 YeaRs oLd

As I was cleaning today this poem on folded notebook paper fell out of the sleeve of an old college shorthand book I was giving away to Goodwill.
My hands held out waiting
For a blessing from the Lord
My eyes searching 'round me
Things above me were ignored
With my arms growing heavy
And my heart wearing down
My head slowly lowered
My smile became a frown
My eyes came to rest
On something lying in my hands
Something I had never noticed
But now there it stands
A small and fragrant blossom
Had been there all along
Its fragrance filled the airIts color was a song
How could I never notice
That such beauty had been there
But my eyes had been elsewhere
My nose in the air
Only when exhaustion
Forced me to look down
Could this blessing from above
Eventually be found
What I had been waiting for
Had been there for some time
But through pride and selfishness
Was never really mine
Until the moment came
When in exhaustion and defeatI laid all my trouble
At my Saviour's feet
Only then did I realizeAll the Lord had shown
When I asked Him for some bread
I shouldn't look for a stone.

WHAT IS FRIENDSHIP FOR ME

Friendship. We often use this word. But what does it in fact mean? Are you able to answer this question? Who is a real friend? Do you think that friendship will never die? Have you ever thought about it?
What does friendship mean to you?
It is something what is very valuable but you can't buy it. It must be protected. You have to take care of friendship because it is very easy to loose a friend but after that it is much more difficult to recover it again. It is like a treasure. You must keep it in safety. If you don't, it will not last anymore. Friendship is soft.Who do you think a good friend is?
It's someone who you get on well with. Who you like to be with and who you would miss if you lost him. It's somebody who stands by you if you have some problems, who gives you advice, who has always time for you.
Do you think you have many friends?
I have many friends-many people who I know, but not many good friends.
Do you think a good friend can let you down?
Yes, I think so. Somebody seems to be your good friend, but if you have some problems, he/she isn't there for you. But in this case he/she isn't your good friend.
Would you do anything for your friend?
It depends on the friend and on the thing I should do. I think that I will help my friend with problems he/she has to go through. He/she has to feel that somebody in the world loves him/her and takes care for him/her. If you have a good friend, your problems seem to be smaller and it is much easier for you because you know you can always reckon on somebody.
Do you spend much time with your friends?
Well, I meet them almost every day because many of my friends go to the same school as I do. We also meet each other in our free time. My parents are sometimes angry because they think I don't spend enough time with my family. But they are really nice and accept it. I am with my friends especially during holidays. I want to be with somebody in my age.
Do your parents like your friends?
They don't know them very well, but I think that they like most of them. But I know many families arguing about this topic.
Do you know what they think of them?
I haven't asked. If they are speaking about them, it is usually in a good way. If they thought something bad about them, they would certainly say it.
And is it easy for you to make friends?
Maybe yes. Everybody says I am very sociable and talkative think I am quite reserved to strangers. But if I make a friend, I am sure it will last.

i wiSh...

Dreams, Wishes, and Tears

If dreams were given to a lonely man
and a lonely man’s dreams came true,
I’d force myself to sleep all the time
just so I could dream of you

If wishes were given to a lonely man
and I was given just two,
I’d wish for you to always love me
and the other I’d give to you

If my tears could write a love song
I’d write a love song for you,
It would explain just how I feel inside
and how much I love you too

But, dreams are only dreams
and wishes seldom come true,
My tears can’t write a love song,
but when they fall, they fall for you…

bLacKsouL

abOuT mE...

well, i'm yaya.. i live on parepare,sulsel, ID.. i'm going to SMA 5 parepare... i was born on 6th of March 1992... i love harry potter very much.. and i also love black and dark... i don't know why.. but all i know, that's why my friends call me blacksoul... i love make friends from around the world...